Existential Little Baby

I’m feelin existential,

between a tree and a pencil.
What am I doing
This culture keeps chewing,
Chewing on my life
Makin‘ all this strife
Taking down the whole world
From inside,
My outsides.
I’m feelin‘ like I must be totally mental
Mouth held open for a dental
Exam.
Gonna get those instruments stuck in my brain
Songs my mamma used to sing, like
When I was a little bitty baby…
Wishin‘ that maybe just maybe
I could take on the world
To be more than just a girl
This body
This meaning
Less
Than fulfilling feeling
What keeps taking my lovin‘ from my healing
Healin‘ that I’m,
Kneading knots
Out of my back and thighs
That are too big…
Or not big enough.
Sore from running,
From this culture
That’s scary
Scaring
Totally darling.
Gonna hold my hair back so I can be pretty
Push me out the door to walk the streets in the city
So I can make rent.
So I can be existential
My tree and my pencil.
So I can maybe just maybe
Be someones little baby.
copyright Kenna M. Lindsay 2010